Erectile dysfunction is surprisingly common for men, although little talked about in mainstream media. Most men can relate to moments of ejaculating sooner than planned, or an awkward memory of not being able to get an erection during intimacy.
Over time, erectile issues can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame and frustration, and create stress in intimate relationships. Some men may end up avoiding intimacy and relationship altogether, because of low self-confidence and trauma caused by erectile issues.
Causes of premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunctions
So, what are the causes of premature ejaculation (PE) and other erectile dysfunctions (ED), and how can tantric healing work help support men with these issues?
To begin with, there are some underlying health conditions which can cause erectile dysfunctions, including heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure. So, you should visit your GP for a check-up if you experience symptoms for more than a few weeks. Drugs, alcohol and some pharmaceutical medicines can also affect your erection.
Common emotional causes, which affect overall libido, include high stress levels, tiredness, depression, relationship difficulties, and the impact of physical illness.
Other psychological factors can be more complex, particularly thoughts and feelings which kick in in the run up to ‘big moments’ during sex, and then interfere with the ability to have an erection, or to manage it.
I regularly work with men, for example, who’ve experienced significant sexual or physical abuse in the past, and this can have a profound impact on intimacy, including erectile issues. I also meet many men who’ve grown up with a strict cultural upbringing around sexuality (eg catholic education), and need help to re-programme both their physical and emotional conditioning.
Porn addiction can also interfere with a healthy erection. Over time, screen sex can affect the neurological pathways from the brain to the genital area, desensitizing sexual responses during ‘live’ sex with another person.
All these factors can result in ‘performance anxiety’ – the brain’s anticipation of failure, based on past experiences, especially traumatic ones, in the run-up to sexual intimacy.
How can tantric healing massage help?
Professional tantric healing therapy can support men with both the physical and emotional causes of erectile issues, using a somatic (body-centered) approach. My sessions harness Tantric and Taoist bodywork techniques, which are designed to help remove physical and emotional blockages in the body. Sessions (which last around 5 hours) begin with in-depth consultation, giving clients time to share their personal experiences, and an explanation about the Tantric-Taoist approach for erectile issues.
The Tantric and Taoist healing traditions recognize that many physical and emotional toxins are accumulated and stored in the pelvic area. This area of the body is often avoided completely in other holistic massage therapies, but is a main focus of this approach. For example, there are specific pressure points in the pelvic basin, including around the genitals, that can help remove physical blockages such as sedimentation in the capillaries, therefore increasing the blood volume needed for a healthy erection.
Prostate massage and men’s health
The male prostate massage is a key part of the treatment for erectile dysfunction. This internal therapy helps to remove the common build-up of stress and tension around the prostate gland. Tightness in the prostate area can affect the blood flow needed for a healthy erection, or create sexual tension, resulting in the need to ejaculate often. It’s recommended that men receive the prostate massage on a regular basis for sexual health, and stress relief.
Emotional release and erection
You may be wondering what ‘emotional blockages’ are, and how they show up in the physical body. These blockages are old emotions, due to past negative experiences which get stored in the body’s cellular memory, and can be activated and released through therapeutic touch. Spontaneous memories and feelings may come up during the bodywork, particularly during the genital massage.
I support clients to feel and express emotions in a safe and loving space. This includes expressing and releasing emotions connected with erectile issues – shame, guilt, frustration, inadequacy etc. We then work together to re-programme some of the beliefs and physical responses of the lingam (penis).
In Tantric philosophy, it’s understood that a man’s lingam is connected energetically with his emotional heart. This is why many men cannot get an erection without a loving connection with their partner. When the heart has been badly hurt or rejected in past relationships, it protects itself during intimacy, and the lingam may not get aroused. Love and trust are often needed for an erection to come. I often spend time with clients to help release pain and sadness from past relationships.
Sexual Energy and Tantric Education
Getting esoteric here, the Tantric-Taoist healing traditions also work with energy pathways in the body. These pathways can be opened through deep bodywork, enabling sexual energy (also known as ‘Jing’ or ‘Chi’) to flow freely throughout the body. Sexual energy is a limitless source of vitality and wellbeing, and sessions may include elements of tantric education, including supporting men with learning how to separate orgasm and ejaculation. Instead of losing vital life-force energy through ejaculation, men can instead harness and move the orgasmic sexual energy through the body. This ancient practice also helps men with ejaculatory control and is good for PE issues.
Nurturing and Pleasure
To end this blog, I’d like to reassure readers that it’s not all hard work during a tantric healing session. The emotional and physical release goes hand in hand with deep, nurturing oil bodywork to relax away stress and tension, and create moments of pure enjoyment.
Tantric Healing therapy welcomes everyone, and judges no-one. Whatever erectile issues you may be experiencing, you can still have an enjoyable and fulfilling love life, and become healthier and full of vital energy.
Book a session
If you’re interested in receiving support for ED issues, you can book a session with a qualified tantric massage therapist in the Tantralize Directory. If you are looking for a purely sensual experience, without focusing on any sexual or intimacy issues, please visit the Sensual Massage page of the Tantralize Directory.