Looking for Healing
A while back, there were moments, not just one, where I felt that I was lacking intimacy with another person. It can happen every now and then, especially when I am busy: consumed by work and life matters or not in the best shape or mood to socialise and meet new people. I am sure it happens to most of us more or less often, especially with our current lifestyle and the general pressure that we live under. In search for a partner who I could get intimate with, I signed up to few tantric groups on Facebook. I did what many guys do: try to connect with some women. I felt confident that I have something valuable to offer, as I had already done two years of daily practice of my professional and sensual massage. I also believed, or more likely had a feeling that my methods were somehow similar to tantric massage; apart from purely therapeutic aspect, my hidden goal was always to make my clients achieve a state of heavenly pleasure and relaxation, which I believe are experiences that can have healing properties in itself. What would life be if we were deprived of all the pleasure and exciting, extraordinary experiences and we could never, for one moment, rest or escape from a routine that some of us are stuck in? My agenda was, through pleasure and through experience, to make people happier with their lives, and hence healthier.
With my experience in mind, I reached out to some girls to offer a conversation, exchange of massages etc., but I was put down by few of them who said that if I haven’t studied tantra then I am not doing tantric massages. I questioned that a little bit, in my own mind, as I believe things are not just black and white in life, but at the same time I thought to myself, What is so significant about tantra and so different about it from regular sensual massages? Most people who don’t know what tantric exactly means think of it as of something purely erotic. At the same time, I got a response from one tantric student, who told me that she would prefer to exchange with me if I actually did study tantra, but she decided to meet up with me anyway. I must say that when we met she complained quite a lot about the fact that I didn’t ever study tantra and that I don’t know how to work with energies. At that time I thought to myself, She is probably crazy. Well, I did not phrase it exactly that way, but the idea of working with energies has always made me feel suspicious. You see, I never have felt any energy, so never really believed them; I just heard people talking about it constantly. After having studied tantra, I still don’t feel it personally, but now I can work with people’s own energy.
First Insight into Tantric Massage
We exchanged massages. I gave her my sensual massage while received back a tantric healing session. While we were treating each other, she was explaining to me about some things that happen in tantra. One of them was non-ejaculation for men, which initially sounded like some crazy stunt. It is done in order to build up the sexual energy (also called the life force) and to store it for its energising and healing properties. An important part of vitality, mastering non-ejaculation can also allow you to have long-lasting sex that could go on for hours, if not days. So don’t be surprised if you go for a tantric massage and you find out there is no “happy ending” included. Many people turn around at this point or try to convince the practitioners to do the massage with the ejaculation, which can be very annoying for the practitioners. That’s why it is important for you to know the difference between the sensual and tantric massage before you grab the phone to call a person you picked to have a massage with. Another aspect my friend was talking about, was moving and working with the energies around the body. Both of these procedures can help to achieve heightened states of pleasure and can be healing.
When I was receiving the massage I did decide to ejaculate. I needed to get that “fix”; that few seconds of explosive pleasure while intimately connecting. It’s been a while so it felt needed, but having that out of the way made me readier and had set my mind to try non-ejaculation next time, to see for myself about what my massage partner had been talking about all that time. The girl would continue to “complain” that it would be much better if I studied tantra, and you know what? Then I decided to study tantra. I wanted to find out what was so amazing about it. I reached out to the course that she has recommended and attended an introductory evening. It was just a two-hour speech talking about sex, tantric bodywork, how negative emotions and traumas get stuck in our bodies, how they can block the energy flow and affect our health. To my surprise, the whole lecture was extremely practical and was backed up by some science and common sense. The instructor, who was running the course, seemed like an honest person. He showed us a recording of the emotional release that happens during his massage sessions, which was crying alternating with laughter: all that just by massaging certain trigger points in the body. I was intrigued already! Then he showed us the second part of the movie, which was the stroking of the aura and the orgasmic waves the person lying down was going through without being even touched. I was thinking, How is this physically possible? He convinced me more about his course by saying, “I know it all sounds to you like “mumbo jumbo” (ie. the energies involved), but come to the course, see for yourself.” Since he seemed confident about what he was preaching, I judged that it was worth a try.
One month later, I found myself on the plane to Chaing Mai, Thailand, for a course that would make me become a tantric practitioner. I can tell you that it was one of the most interesting and intriguing events of my life. I saw what I was told about and more: an insane amount of different emotions being released just by massaging another person! From anger and rage, sadness and crying, to laughter and feelings of love bursting from people. I have witnessed moving the energies around the body first hand (I have done it to people myself without touching them and without them being aware of me doing it. I had to test it over and over again for my brain to finally believe that it’s real). The amount of positiveness that has shined through everyone after getting rid of some of the negativity through this holistic treatment was incredible to see.
More Than Just an Erotic Massage
Finally, I saw that tantra is so much more than just an erotic massage. It is a whole philosophy and a powerful healing tool. You might be completely unconscious or unaware of what is lingering inside of you until you get to do this kind of work which, if I was to describe it in two words, would be simply “beautiful” and “shamanic”. The tantric massage we were learning in particular is five hours long and not all just pleasure; there are also painful moments when working on tensed areas that are responsible for blocking the energy flow. We learned about certain trigger points and common places of tension in the body. Massaging tensed parts of the body can evoke emotions, negative thoughts and memories, which I feel is a big part of this modality. It is a very deep process; it can be quite intense, but it is worth every moment. There often are long-lasting positive effects. Removing the negativity from your body allows you to make more space for love and happiness. And if you don’t believe what I am saying, try it with a good practitioner and see for yourself.
I am going to elaborate more on my time in Thailand in another article. For now, I can only tell you that I became a believer of the energies and I am starting to see the point of non-ejaculation, although it is something that requires a bit of time and work to overcome and feel the benefits of it, and I don’t think I have experienced a fraction of what is about to come in the future. I must admit though, sometimes there is much more fun before ejaculation than during it. If what they say about mastering non-ejaculation and the waves of orgasmic energy one can experience through the whole body, as experienced during energy work, is true, then perhaps it is worth exploring and dedicating to.
If you would like to experience tantric healing for yourself, you can find a qualified therapist within our tantric massage directory.