Erectile issues are surprisingly common for men, although it is rarely talked about in mainstream media. Most men can relate to moments of ejaculating sooner than planned, or have an awkward memory of not being able to get an erection during intimacy.
Over time, erectile issues can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame and frustration, and create stress in intimate relationships. Some men may end up avoiding intimacy and relationships altogether, because of low self-confidence and trauma caused by erectile issues.
So, what are the causes of premature ejaculations (PE) and other erectile dysfunctions (ED), and how can tantric healing work help support men with these issues?
To begin with, there are some underlying health conditions which can cause erectile dysfunction, including heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure. So, you should visit your GP for a check-up if you experience symptoms for more than a few weeks. Drugs, alcohol and some pharmaceutical medicines can also affect an erection.
Common emotional causes that can affect a libido include high stress levels, tiredness, depression, relationship difficulties, and the impact of physical illness. Other psychological factors can be more complex, particularly thoughts and feelings which kick in during the run up to ‘big moments’ during sex, and then interfere with the ability to have an erection, or to manage it.
Past trauma, sexual conditioning and porn addiction
I regularly work with men, for example, who’ve experienced significant sexual or physical abuse in the past, and this can have a profound impact on intimacy, including erectile issues. I have also met many men who’ve grown up with a strict cultural upbringing around sexuality (e.g. catholic education) and who need help to re-programme both their physical and emotional conditioning.
Porn addiction can also interfere with a healthy erection. Over time, screen sex can affect the neurological pathways from the brain to the genital area, desensitizing sexual responses during ‘live’ sex with another person.
All of these factors can result in ‘performance anxiety’; the brain’s anticipation of failure, based on past experiences, especially traumatic ones, in the run-up to sexual intimacy.
Tantric Healing Therapy
Professional tantric healing therapy can support men with both the physical and emotional causes of erectile issues, using a somatic (body-centred) approach. My sessions harness Tantric and Taoist bodywork techniques, which are designed to help remove physical and emotional blockages in the body. Sessions (which last around five hours) begin with an in-depth consultation which gives clients time to share their personal experiences and feature an explanation about the Tantric-Taoist approach for PE and other ED conditions.
The Tantric and Taoist healing traditions recognize that many physical and emotional toxins are accumulated and stored in the pelvic area. This area of the body is often avoided completely in other holistic massage therapies, but it is a main focus of this approach. For example, there are specific pressure points in the pelvic area, including around the genitals, that can help remove physical blockages such as sedimentation in the capillaries, therefore increasing the blood volume needed for a healthy erection.
The male prostate massage is a key part of the treatment for erectile issues. This internal therapy helps to remove the common build-up of stress and tension around the prostate gland. Tightness in the prostate area can affect the blood flow needed for a healthy erection, or create sexual tension, resulting in the need to ejaculate often. It’s recommended that men receive the prostate massage on a regular basis for sexual health and stress relief.
You may be wondering what ‘emotional blockages’ are, and how they show up in the physical body. These blockages are old emotions from past negative experiences, which get stored in the body’s cellular memory, that can be activated and released through therapeutic touch. Spontaneous memories and emotions may be brought up during the bodywork, particularly during the genital massage.
I support my clients to feel and express emotions in a safe and loving space. This includes expressing and releasing emotions connected with erectile issues; shame, guilt, frustration, inadequacy etc. We then work together to re-programme some of the beliefs and physical responses of the lingam (penis).
In Tantric philosophy, it’s understood that a man’s lingam is connected energetically with his emotional heart. This is why many men cannot get an erection without a loving connection with their partner. When the heart has been badly hurt or rejected in past relationships, it protects itself during intimacy, and the lingam may not get aroused. Love and trust are needed for an erection to come. I often spend time with clients to help release pain and sadness from past relationships.
Getting esoteric here, the Tantric-Taoist healing traditions also work with energy pathways in the body. These pathways can be opened through deep bodywork, enabling sexual energy (also known as ‘Jing’ or ‘Chi’) to flow freely throughout the body. Sexual energy is a limitless source of vitality and wellbeing, and tantric healing sessions can also support men by helping them to learn how to separate orgasms and ejaculation for their life-long health. Instead of losing vital life-force energy through ejaculation, men can instead harness and move the orgasmic sexual energy through the body. This ancient practice also helps men with ejaculatory control, especially PE issues. Once the basics are mastered, men can last a lot longer during love-making, without supressing their sexual energy.
To end this blog, I’d like to reassure readers that it’s not all hard work during a tantric healing session. The emotional and physical release goes hand in hand with deep, nurturing bodywork to melt away stress and tension, and create moments of pure enjoyment.
Tantric Healing therapy is an open-minded practice and is welcoming to everyone. No matter what erectile problems you’re facing, it is still possible for you experience a fulfilling and pleasurable love life, and enjoy a healthier life with more energy.